She Never Cried In Front Of Me
by astarte-lydianna
Summary: Hermione/Snape, based on a song by Toby Keith, Hermione gradually realises she's falling for Snape, with the help of some enchanted mistletoe he realises he loves her but he's a little late.


Author's Notes: This idea came into my head when listening to Toby Keith's 'She never cried in front of me', hence the title. It's very sad really but it just popped into my head and I had to write it down so in the space of about thirty minutes start to finish here's my very first Snape/Hermione story and it's only a one shot. Hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, the characters or anything recognisable from the books or films nor do I own Toby Keith's 'she never cried in front of me'. I'm just borrowing.

She Never Cried In Front Of Me...

Severus Snape was far more uncomfortable than he would have liked to admit sitting in the room of requirement amongst so many of the students and staff and many members of the order not to mention the soon to be happy couple's family.

After a marriage law was instated for all witches and wizards the last few months had been filled with one wedding or another. These were supposedly the lucky ones, the ones choosing their partners. Basically every witch and wizard between the ages of seventeen and thirty-five were required to marry within six months to a person of different blood status, if a couple of the same status wished to marry it had to be approved by the ministry first to prevent infertile couples. Likewise a witch or wizard who had to marry could also choose a partner older than thirty-five as long as they were still able to produce children.

He supposed that was the problem causing his discomfort right now. He didn't _have_ to get married. So you could imagine his surprise when a certain young witch, his new colleague and dare he even say friend had asked him to marry her.

Hermione Granger had taken a position as the Transfiguration Professor at Hogwarts to allow Minerva to manage her Headmistress duties better. In fact Harry Potter himself had also joined her in returning to Hogwarts as the latest DADA professor. However he had only accepted the position for the one year, after which he was planning on continuing his work as an Auror.

Hermione Granger...she had saved his life with her refusal to give up, doing enough to keep him alive until a proper healer could deal with him and he supposed he had much to thank Mr Potter for in clearing his name of all charges. The Golden Trio were hardly his favourite people but somehow Miss Granger had managed to find a weakness in him. They were able to work together amicably and even strike up a friendship of sorts. It was good to have someone with at least half a brain to talk to. Still her offer of marriage had thrown him off, causing him to at least temporarily revert back to his old snarky self and rip her head off.

~Flashback~

"I was wondering if maybe...we could get married?" Hermione asked quietly. "Since I have to because of the new law-"

"What makes you think Miss Granger that just because you have to get married that I would voluntarily tether myself to the same sinking ship if I do not have to?" he interrupted her.

"I-I'm sorry Professor Snape...I had no idea the very thought of marriage was so terrible for you." Hermione replied awkwardly. "It was just an idea. Don't worry I'll find someone else...I'm certainly not letting the ministry decide for me."

Hermione turned away from him and left the room, shutting the door behind her a little harder than necessary on the way.

~End~

So here he was, watching that dim witted Weasley boy wait at the front of the room with the ministry official and Potter by his side; both waiting for Miss Granger to make her appearance.

A moment later Hermione entered the room and all eyes were on her. A small blush rose to her cheeks and she clutched her father's arm tighter, she couldn't believe how nervous she was. This was Ron. Her childhood friend, he wouldn't hurt her, he'd look after her.

Severus's eyes focused only on Hermione, her gown was a soft pink rather than traditional white but very few of these "forced" marriages actually ended up being traditional. She looked beautiful. He was an idiot for certain, he could have been the man stood waiting for the beauty...but foolishly he pushed her away. What would she have wanted with a grumpy old man anyway? She was only just nineteen for goodness sake. It made him wonder though why she had asked him first...before even Ronald bloody Weasley.

_Seven Thirty-five, she's someone else's wife._

_I can get on with my life, and that thrills me._

_She married him today, her daddy gave the bride away,_

_And that kills me._

It wasn't until the following month that Severus and Hermione had a chance to talk again, they had seen one another of course but never alone until then. They managed to be civil and despite the slight awkwardness managed to continue their friendship. Hopefully Hermione had forgiven his outburst that fateful day.

"Why?" Severus asked out of the blue one evening. "Why did you ask me?"

"If you don't know that already...there's not really any point talking about it." Hermione said softly. "It doesn't matter anymore does it."

"Yes of course, and how is married life with Mr Weasley?" he asked, trying to conceal the sneer slightly so as not to seem like a complete arse.

"It's fine thank you." Hermione replied primly. "Ron is one of my best friends, he's a good husband."

"I'm sure." Severus drawled, turning his attention back to his book. The conversation was over. Hermione sighed quietly to herself and then left him to his reading in solitude.

_Cause now I, can see why she's finally cryin'_

In was three months later when Severus found the young witch by the lake. It was cold and getting dark out and he had wondered who could be wandering the grounds and so gone to investigate. He found her sat on the ground, hugging her knees to her chest and her chin resting on her arms.

She didn't say anything for a while, she didn't even look towards him to acknowledge his presence. She just continued to stare out at the water.

"Mis-...Hermione, you should come inside." He said as softly as his voice would allow outside in the cold wind. "You're going to catch a chill." She didn't say anything in response she just leant against him, absorbing his warmth, seeking comfort.

"What have I done?" she asked quietly. "I married a man I don't love...not in the way a wife should."

"That can hardly be considered your fault; many many people have found themselves in your situation or worse thanks to this ridiculous law. You shouldn't feel bad for that." He said neutrally.

"It isn't just that I don't love him, he loves me. He really loves me...I'm going to break his heart..." Hermione's voice cracked slightly as she spoke. Severus put an arm around her, wrapping her inside his cloak with him to keep her warm, or as warm as the weather would allow. "I don't love him...I _can't _love him..." She whispered.

After a moment of silence he realised that she had fallen asleep, sighing to himself he removed his cloak to drape fully around her and lifted her into his arms to carry her inside.

_How was I supposed to know, she was slowly letting go?_

_If I was putting her through hell, hell I couldn't Tell_

_She could've given me a sign, could've opened up my eyes._

_How was I supposed to see? She never cried in front of me._

After that night the two of them managed to be closer than ever. Severus knew Hermione's marriage wasn't perfect but at least Weasley wasn't likely to hurt her so he practically ignored the subject of their marriage and instead the pair focused on their friendship.

He enjoyed the evenings when she sometimes came down to the dungeons to help him brew potions for the hospital wing and she was much more interested in his own experiments and research than anyone else would be. It was a good friendship.

Hermione thought so too. She loved being able to spend more time with Severus, try to pretend her home life didn't exist. Most weekends she went home to the small house that she shared with Ron but during the week and the weekends that she didn't head home she just pretended that she was still the same Hermione, pretended that she wasn't ripping one of her best friend's hearts out a little more with every passing week.

By Hermione's first wedding anniversary she still wasn't pregnant, though that wasn't surprising because she rarely worked up the willpower to sleep with Ron. It wasn't that he repulsed her or hurt her or anything like that...it just meant more to him that it did to her and he got that terrible...haunted look in his eyes afterwards. He knew she didn't love him and it hurt him.

Of course she couldn't tell Severus this, in fact with the exception of that evening by the lake she had never spoke of her marriage again to him. It was too hard; she didn't want him to see how hurt she was inside.

It was her deep thoughts about her first year of marriage that caused her to miss the person calling her until a large lump of black waved in front of her face. She jumped and looked up to see Severus smirking at her.

"Day dreaming in the halls? I expect that from the students not the staff." He chuckled.

"Sorry, were you calling me?" she asked.

"I was just going to ask what day you were departing for the holidays." He said.

"Oh, probably the twenty-third, it'll give me a couple of days finish grading papers. I'll be back a few days after Christmas though to make up my lesson plans for next term." She replied.

"I believe Minerva was planning a staff Christmas party on the twenty-third so if you have time before you depart you should join the frivolities. At least they will be someone of a reasonable intellect to talk to." He nodded, turning to leave.

Unfortunately the castle had other plans and neither of the departing pair got very far. Hermione glanced at her unmoving feet and then back to Severus who was looking above them.

"Wonderful." He drawled out sarcastically.

"Oh stop being a drama queen; I've been caught out three times this week." Hermione replied breezily leaning up to press her lips against his quickly. As soon as their lips met she froze, she felt his lips move softly against hers kissing her back. Both pulled away awkwardly and stepped backwards as if the mistletoe was about to trap them again. "Um...I...um..."

"Um indeed." He nodded, looking thoughtful for a moment before nodding to her and heading on his way.

_Yeah maybe I might've changed, it's hard for me to say._

_But the story's still the same, it's a sad one._

_And I'll always believe, if she ever did cry for me,_

_They were the tears that you can't see, you know the bad ones._

Hermione stood in the same spot for a long while before deciding that she needed to kiss him again. In two weeks time she was going home to face Ron for at least a week and it would be torture. If Severus could provide even just a single moment of happiness then she needed to have it.

Quickly she made her way down to the dungeons and located the nearest piece of mistletoe. With a few flicks of her wand the mistletoe moved from the corridor to rest just above Severus's door. With a few quick deep breaths she knocked on the door.

The door swung open abruptly, Severus looked slightly shocked to see her stood there but didn't speak. He just rose one eyebrow encouraging her to speak.

"I'm sorry..." she said awkwardly.

"I hardly think you can take blame for the castles own enchanted mistletoe Miss...Mrs Weasley." He replied evenly. Hermione sighed...of course he had to remind her that she was married. When she didn't say anything he moved to shut the door but quickly realised his feet were stuck to the spot. His eyes shot up to arch above the door where the small branch of mistletoe dangled. "I see..."

"I'm not sure that you do." Hermione said. "But it doesn't matter." She quickly leant forward and kissed him again. This time she wasn't shy, it wasn't brief and when the spell ended she didn't stop.

_And now I can see why she's finally crying_

Losing his own control Severus shut the door behind them and then drove her back against it, his tongue thrusting into her mouth drawing out a loud moan from the younger witch's throat.

"Please..." she whimpered, her fingers clutching at his clothes tightly. She didn't know if she could ever forgive herself for this one act but since she would already feel guilty for it she didn't want to stop.

"Are you absolutely certain?" he asked, pulling away from her. His eyes were darker than ever, his breathing ragged like her own. She simply nodded and he tugged her back with him, leading her through to his bedroom.

_How was I supposed to know, she was slowly letting go?_

_If I was putting her through hell, hell I couldn't Tell_

_She could've given me a sign, could've opened up my eyes._

_How was I supposed to see? She never cried in front of me._

His hands were everywhere and she didn't even realise that their clothes were gone until she felt his tongue brush against her nipple. His kisses covered her breasts and neck and then he was in her. Hermione let out a load groan as he filled her, stretched her in the most beautiful way possible. They moved together perfectly, falling into an even rhythm as if they had been waiting forever for this moment.

Hermione had never managed to reach orgasm by intercourse before but this time, she could feel the telltale signs of her release approaching her already from the sheer eroticism of their coupling. Severus filled her so perfectly, moved with her not too slow or too fast not rough but not too soft. It wasn't long before she moaned her release loudly in a stream of non-coherent words and Severus followed swiftly behind, her tightening inner walls caressing his sensitive flesh and pushing him over the edge.

The couple fell asleep still wrapped up in each other's arms and spent the night in a comfortable embrace.

When Severus woke the next morning he found to his disappointment that his bed was empty. He got up and ready for his first lesson and on his way out he found a note on the table by the door.

'_Thank you. It was perfect.'_

Nothing more, nothing less...but he whole heartedly agreed with the statement.

_Without a doubt, I know now_

_How it outta be, now she's gone_

_And it's wrong, and it bothers me._

_Tomorrow I'll still be askin' myself..._

The pair avoided the topic of what happened after that. Nothing needed to be said, Hermione was married and a wizarding marriage was forever. It didn't matter that he had this strange new painful feeling inside when he realised that he couldn't ever have her again. It wouldn't be right to try. Not fair to her, not fair to her husband.

The first time they spoke again outside of a strictly professional manner was at the staff Christmas party. When Hermione said her goodbyes to the staff she looked like she was about to cry hugging Minerva...it was such a crime. All of the forced marriages had young witches and wizards absolutely miserable all over the wizarding world. Could Hermione be dreading going home to play wife this much?

When she came to say goodbye to him she reached for his arm and leant up to kiss him softly on the cheek.

"Merry Christmas Severus." She whispered.

"Merry Christmas Hermione." He murmured after her as she left.

It was the thirty-first of December when Severus's personal owl landed on his desk while he was finalising his lesson plans. He handed the owl a small treat and took the letter from her, ushering her away.

He was interrupted by his fireplace activating and Minerva's voice.

The next few hours were the worst of his life. He had knelt at the feet of the Dark Lord and taken the burning pain of the Dark Mark on his body, he had murdered, raped and tortured innocent people all in the name of being a spy, he taken the cruciatus curse in silence, he had nearly died several times over and still he would take all of that gladly. Anything but this.

Hermione Weasley had killed herself tonight. She had poisoned herself in the bathroom after taking a positive pregnancy test and it was too late by the time Weasley had found her. For the second time in his life Severus Snape had lost someone he loved.

It was late before he was sat back at his desk trying to continue his lesson plans to take his mind off of everything. He didn't want to think about her...

He then spotted the letter that had arrived before the grievous news. The envelope was blank, inside however his recognised the handwriting immediately and sank down into his chair in grief as he read it.

'_Severus,_

_I'm sorry for never being able to tell you in person but it was too late by the time I knew the depth of my feelings for you. I love you. You may have guessed by now that I cared about you over a year ago when I asked you to marry me. I don't and cannot ever love Ron because Severus my heart belongs to you. That night we shared was the happiest I've been in a very long time. I am afraid though that since I can never divorce Ron, I cannot ever be with you...and I can't live the rest of my life with Ron after telling him not only that my heart belongs to another but that the life inside me does too. He will know that it isn't his; there is no doubt of it. I am very sorry for taking that away from you too but this isn't a life suitable for a child. Our child should have been born into a family full of love... _

_All my love, you have my heart always_

_Hermione'_

His glass smashed as he tossed it against the wall and covered his face with his hands holding back a sob. It was no use, for the first time since the first time since 1981 Severus Snape cried.

_How was I supposed to know, she was slowly letting go?_

_If I was putting her through hell, hell I couldn't tell._

_She could've given me a sign, could've opened up my eyes._

_How was I supposed to see? She never cried in front of me._

_How was I supposed to know, she was slowly letting go?_

_If I was putting her through hell, hell I couldn't tell..._


End file.
